Attraction

I was in another one of my introspective moods this morning and started contemplating attraction. What makes one person feel attraction for another? I don't just mean sexual attraction, but every type of attraction that exists.

What attracts you to your best friend? Your mate? I have had several instances where I was deeply attracted to a male intellectually, but not physically at all. I wanted to be around them, but only to talk to them. Some people think that men and women can't be "just friends" without complications, but I don't agree. At least I know that I can be, maybe some people can't.

There are subconscious things going on in our brains every second of our lives that dictate who we are pulled toward. The mindset you have will bring people to you or help push them away. If you think people cannot be trusted, then you will attract people to you who are not trustworthy to validate your own preconceived notion.

When it comes to sexual attraction, there's another whole set of criteria to add to it. Things such as pheromones come into play.

But what about feeling attraction for people you don't even know? Have ever seen a person on television that you felt instant attraction for even though you had never even met them? If you stop and think about it, that is really weird. Why would you want someone you don't even know?

Well, your brain takes the information you have about them (how they look, act on television, talents that are obvious), then it fills in the blanks on the information you don't have. You might imagine things they like to do or the kind of character they might have.

(This is also how stalkers develop "crushes" on their targets, but that's another post.)

Or, if you are a guy, you simply give them a once over and make your decision based solely on how they look. Can't really get mad at guys for that though since that's the way they are wired.

There are exceptions to that rule. Last night we watched the movie "It's Complicated" and I laughed myself silly. But the interesting part was that the guy had a young, super attractive wife, but he still preferred his ex-wife because she had a comforting quality for him.

In the end attraction has a lot to do with comfort zone, as all things in life. We are attracted to things that feel "normal" and within our set of values. This is one reason that most abused women come from childhood homes with lots of abuse. They are used to it, so it feels comfortable.

There's a saying that if you look at your ten best friends and average their income, then you will get your approximate income right now. That is true in most cases. It's the Law of Attraction at its finest.

The next time you feel any type of attraction toward any person, take a minute to sort out the reasons why. If you can figure that out, then you have taken a big step toward figuring out yourself.