How To Have a Happier Marriage - My Take On It

I have my own take on marriage that's probably not that popular. Well, at least I am DEVELOPING a different view.

This is a fact: The mate you pick at twenty is not usually the person you would pick at thirty - or forty. It continues to change as you you get older. Maturity and knowledge play a lot into it, along with changing interests.

Stop for just a minute and ask yourself -Am I happy with the partner I have right now? Be honest. Don't tell yourself a lie so you will feel good about your life...that's counterproductive.

In between my two marriages I dated several different guys. None of them were "the one" but I enjoyed the variety. I had always gone from one heavy relationship to another, so just enjoying the moment was great for a while.

What am I trying to say here? Well, marriage is a scary proposition. You are supposed to commit to it forever, but forever is a mighty long time. Are there people who can be happy with each other for fifty years? Apparently so, at least they claim to be.

Ever heard of serial monogamy? It's where you are exclusive, but not together forever. You don't even plan to stay together forever necessarily, but you are totally exclusive and monogamous while you are together. Then you will probably go be monogamous with someone else when your current relationship has run its course. Hmm....

While this might sound good on the surface, society would completely fall apart if this was how everyone operated. Plus, there would be a whole generation of children with severe insecurity issues. I can't even imagine the implications of that a few generations down the road.

So how DO you have a happier marriage? You make the decision to be happy everyday, so matter what your situation might be. Then you treat your mate as well as you want to be treated. Try to be as honest as you can without telling your mate things to would hurt them for no good reason. I personally believe that it's okay to have a few secrets from your mate. Sometimes it is even healthier.

I know people who have cleared their conscious about affairs that happened ten or twenty years before only to crumble their spouse's world. I believe that is sort of selfish at that point (especially after that much time). But that's just my personal opinion....not everyone will agree with that.

So here's my advice: Be thankful for at least one thing everyday. Then be thankful for one thing about your spouse each day. It will make a huge difference over time.

And be your own person.